Children--my dream come true

I've spent a lot of time on this blog talking about living the dream as far as health and diet go, but you must realize that I have many more dreams than just getting into better shape. One of my dreams has basically already come true. That is my dream of being part of a close-knit family.

Even when I was a little girl, I wanted bunches of kids. As an adolescent, I would write short stories and novels (yes, I had the writing fever even as a child), and each imaginary family that I created and wrote about would have numerous kids. During those girlhood years, I spent much time poring over baby name books and writing lists of possible names for my future children.

When I was only 23, I lost my first baby at just six weeks gestation. All I could think was that perhaps I wouldn't be able to produce children. But God smiled on me and gave me Meghann Elizabeth just a year later. She has been nothing but a blessing to me--such a Godly, wise, rational, brilliant girl that I love to spend time with; we talk on the phone several times a day. She came by tonight on her way to cover the county commissioners' meeting for the newspaper. Our time together was over too soon--it always is.

My little Meggie and me

When Megh was about to turn three, I lost another baby--this time at eight weeks. This loss was much tougher because now I truly knew the joys of parenthood. I remember sitting at my parents' house in early May that year as tornadoes ripped through Winston-Salem, destroying the ancient oaks in the Old Salem Square. I felt that the tornadoes were inside of me, ripping a precious life out of my body.

But the very next May, I gave birth to Chelsea Alyssa and was madly in love with her as soon as they put her on my belly in the delivery room. For the next few weeks after she was born, I would cry with joy just looking at her. I still feel the same way about this Godly, witty, intelligent, creative girl. She and I spent precious hours together this past Saturday as we visited the Ruby Rose Tea Room in Stoneville and talked, talked, talked. Daughters are treasures from above indeed.

Me with my little Chels

For several years after Chels was born, I was infertile. I began to assume that my childbearing days were over, but then one day during my private prayer time, God told me I would have a son. Sure enough, when Chels was 5 1/2, Elijah Blue was born. His sisters joked for years that he was glued to my hip. And so he was. This blue-eyed boy was a holy child from birth and touched a place in my heart that only a son can touch.

My divorce was toughest on him perhaps, but God has done such a work! Now Elijah and I are as close as ever; the bond that was always there has not been broken but instead strengthened. I look proudly at the little bitty fellow who has grown to be 6' tall--an anointed young man of God who is super-bright and artistically talented--a white boy who can dance like nobody's business and truly has a prophetic gift. We sometimes sit up late at night as he pours his heart out to me. How I treasure these times!

Me and my Little Boy Blue

As if my cup didn't already run over, God saw fit to continue to bless my womb. When Elijah was 2 1/2, my little Abigail Iona entered this world right there in my own bed at home! She was a gentle soul from the first and still has a loving persona. Her observant, thoughtful nature always pleases me. For example, she heard me say last Friday that I wished I could write down the history facts my uncle was telling me, so without being asked, she ran to find me a notebook and pen. She supplies me with fresh flowers whenever they can be found in the yard or woods.

As the only daughter I have left at home, sweet Abby has become my right hand. I don't know what I'd do without this little gal who truly has been endowed by God with the gift of helps; she doesn't even have to be asked to do what needs to be done to make my life easier.

My sweet Abby and me

 My childbearing days seemed to be over after Abigail was born. When she was four, I lost a set of twins at 11 weeks--a very tragic loss for me. I was accidentally pregnant again the next month but lost that baby at six weeks. I went through a very dark time for many months after that. I recognized that I had already been blessed by God with four wonderful children, but I had this gut feeling that it wasn't supposed to be over yet.

(Click on this link to hear a song that comforted me when I lost my babies, "Jesus Has a Rocking Chair" by the Greenes.)

Sure enough, it ain't over 'til it's over. My little Mister Malachi Ian appeared on Earth when my baby Abby was six. This sturdy, healthy baby has grown into the sweetest seven-year-old in this world--in my eyes anyway. He, as his older brother once was, is glued to my hip. His cheerful and loving personality--something I didn't quite expect when he was a difficult toddler--is sunlight on my cloudiest days.

Me with my loving little Malachi

 The other night before bedtime, I was listening to Phillips, Craig and Dean's "His Grace Still Amazes Me." Malachi climbed into my lap and exclaimed with a big smile, "That's my favorite song!" Then he looked at me with loving brown eyes and said, "And you're my favorite person. I love you more than anybody in the whole world."

I suddenly couldn't see very well. Everything was sort of blurred and wet for a minute, and I thought my heart would burst with the love pulsating within it. As his little head laid on my shoulder and that tiny hand clasped mine, I knew that one of my biggest dreams had come true: God had given me children.

I can never thank Him enough for that. I treasure the five I have here on Earth, I rest in peace that I will see the five I lost up in Heaven, and if He sees fit to give me any more, I will welcome those, too. There's unlimited love in my heart for children.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights. . ." (James 1:17) That is how I see children--as gifts from above--from somewhere over the rainbow. . .that arc of promise given by the Father.

(Click on this link to hear Whitney Houston sing "The Greatest Love of All." Yes, I believe the children are our future!)